If and when you see this happening, your job as an ally is to make sure that the person being accosted is safe. Members of the LGBTQIA+ community still experience verbal, physical, and cyber harassment. Do something when you see a member of the LGBTQIA+ community in trouble. "I would love to see more allies taking a vocal stance against businesses via social media that discriminate against the LGBTQIA+ community," says Josh Robbins, an HIV+ sexual health advocate and spokesperson for DatingPositives. Consumers have the unique power to make or break a business-so your protests can go a long way in changing how an organization operates. If you want to be an LGBTQIA+ ally and you notice that a company or business is making homophobic comments or donating to anti-gay organizations, you have the choice to stop supporting that business. If you are called out by someone in the LGBTQIA+ community for an unintentional microaggression, thank the person who offered the feedback and think about how you can incorporate it into your behavior."Īnd stop supporting ones that feed into homophobic agendas. "We are all going to stumble and put our foot in our mouth at some point in our allyship. "Allies must learn to be called out gracefully," says Head. However, Head notes that when these mess-ups happen, it's important for you to live and learn rather than get upset and angry. Benoit suggests starting the conversation with something like, "Do you feel comfortable if I ask questions about your sexual orientation, gender identity, relationship status, etc.? If not, that's not a problem!" Learn from your mistakes.Īt the beginning of your journey toward becoming an LGBTQIA+ ally, you are naturally going to make a few mistakes and say the wrong thing from time to time. If you really can't resist asking your LGBTQIA+ friends a few questions, make sure to ask for their permission before doing so. And make sure to ask if it's OK to ask questions first. In other words: Treat LGBTQIA+ people the way you'd like to be treated. However, it helps to remember that just because someone is out-and proud-doesn't mean you can expect them to be an open book about all elements of their personal lives.Īccording to Benoit, those questions include things like, "Weren't your parents upset when you came out?" and "How do you have sex?" Ultimately, your safest bet is to avoid uncomfortable and potentially offensive questions that you wouldn't ask a heterosexual person.
It's only natural to be curious and inquisitive about certain things related to the LGBTQIA+ community. "Asking whether someone should be referred to as 'he,' 'she,' 'they,' or another pronoun may feel awkward at first," notes the organization, "but is one of the simplest and most important ways to show respect for someone's identity." Avoid asking derogatory or overly personal questions. The National Center for Transgender Equality notes that the best way to ensure that you don't say something offensive is by simply asking which pronouns a person prefers. They also may sometimes identify differently at different times. That means they see themselves as being outside the binary of female and male. The GLAAD Accelerating Acceptance survey found that in 2017, 4 percent of people ages 18 to 34 identified as either genderqueer or gender fluid. "Learn to listen without correcting or questioning the validity of the experience being shared." Ask someone how they identify instead of making assumptions. "An important way for someone to develop themselves as an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community is to listen non-judgmentally and take feedback," says Louise Head, a certified sex educator and member of the LGBTQIA+ community.
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